Change

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”

This is a quote attributed to Maria Robinson. I have no idea who she is or was, but I love the quote.

Today I am feeling like there are many things that I wish I could change. I'd like to be able to go back and have a chance to change some of the decisions I have made over the years that have led us to this point, but I can't. It is comforting to know that I can start today and make a new and better ending to our lives.

I am incredibly grateful to my Heavenly Father for all of my blessings. I want to be a better servant and disciple of Christ in order to show my gratitude. I love Alma 5.

7 Behold, he changed their hearts; yea, he awakened them out of a deep sleep, and they awoke unto God. Behold, they were in the midst of darkness; nevertheless, their souls were illuminated by the light of the everlasting word; yea, they were encircled about by the bands of death, and the chains of hell, and an everlasting destruction did await them.

8 And now I ask of you, my brethren, were they destroyed? Behold, I say unto you, Nay, they were not.

9 And again I ask, were the bands of death broken, and the chains of hell which encircled them about, were they loosed? I say unto you, Yea, they were loosed, and their souls did expand, and they did sing redeeming love. And I say unto you that they are saved.

10 And now I ask of you on what conditions are they saved? Yea, what grounds had they to hope for salvation? What is the cause of their being loosed from the bands of death, yea, and also the chains of hell?

11 Behold, I can tell you—did not my father Alma believe in the words which were delivered by the mouth of Abinadi? And was he not a holy prophet? Did he not speak the words of God, and my father Alma believe them?

12 And according to his faith there was a mighty change wrought in his heart. Behold I say unto you that this is all true.

13 And behold, he preached the word unto your fathers, and a mighty change was also wrought in their hearts, and they humbled themselves and put their trust in the true and living God. And behold, they were faithful until the end; therefore they were saved.
14 And now behold, I ask of you, my brethren of the church, have ye spiritually been born of God? Have ye received his image in your countenances? Have ye experienced this mighty change in your hearts?

I have experienced this mighty change in my heart many times in my life, but I'm in a bit of a slump. I'm having a hard time making these changes I need to make in my life. I'm allowing the stress and cacaphony of the world take control of my life. Daily, I lose sight of my eternal goals and become focused solely on what is going on in my mortal life. I know I need the Lord's help more now than ever, but I'm having a hard time asking for it. I'm not praying or reading the scriptures like I know I should. It's not so much that I am putting my trust in the arm of flesh, I'm just not putting my trust anywhere. I love the Lord, I know He loves me, but I'm so exhausted by just trying to keep the wolf from the door that I have lost my connection to Him.

I want to sing the song of redeeming love. I want the peace that comes from righteous living. I want my soul to expand and I want to share the joy that comes from the Lord with everyone around me. I need to make some changes in my life and I can NOT do it without help from Jesus Christ.

I am so grateful for repentence. I am so grateful for Christ's atoning sacrifice. I am so grateful for mornings and fresh starts.